Some Halal jokes

وعن أيوب قال: “سمعتُ رجلاً قال لعكرمة: “فلان قذفني في النوم"، قال: “اضرِبْ ظلَّه ثمانين"؛ (سير أعلام النبلاء: 5/ 19).

Someone said to Ikrimah: Someone has falsely accused me in a dream. He replied: Flog his shadow eighty times.

وعن الأعمش قال: “أتى رجلٌ الشعبيَّ، فقال: ما اسم امرأة إبليس؟ قال: “ذاك عُرْسٌ ما شهدته"؛ (المصدر السابق: 4/ 312).

Sha’bi was asked: What is the name of wife of Satan? He replied: I didn’t participate in his wedding.

وجاء رجل إلى أبي حنيفة فقال له: “إذا نزعتُ ثيابي ودخلتُ النهرَ أغتسل، فإلى القبلة أتوجَّه، أم إلى غيرها؟ فقال له: “الأفضل أن يكون وجهك إلى جهة ثيابك؛ لئلا تُسْرَق"؛ (المراح في المزاح: ص 43).

Abu Hanifah was asked: If I remove my clothes and enter the river to bath, can I face the direction of prayer the qiblah. He replied: You should face the direction of your clothes to avoid them being stolen.

In an annual congregation a scholar told a story: An eagle and a dove were sitting on a branch of tree and a hunter came. Eagle said to dove: You are halal, I am haram, so he will kill you. The hunter killed the eagle. The dove said: These days people do not care about haram and halal, they care about mota mal ( an Urdu word for fat meat ).

http://www.alukah.net/sharia/0/99221/#ixzz5EBItDH3Q

Jerry Sexton I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Ishmael. Refreshing!
Ishmael Abraham Islam had this humour even before I was born 
Ishmael Abraham I like intelligent and ethical humour and dislike vulgar humour. But quality reduces quantity. I partly like English-speaking Pakistani-American comedian Kumail Nanjiani and Urdu-speaking Pakistani comedian Azizi.

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